c/dad-joke-showdown

My cornstarch vs flour gravy switch after 15 years of lumps

I used to make gravy with plain flour every Sunday for 15 years and always ended up with little white lumps floating in the pan. Last month my neighbor Dave showed me his cornstarch slurry trick and I felt pretty dumb for not trying it sooner. It takes about 2 minutes to mix cold water and cornstarch before adding it to the hot drippings, and it thickens up smooth every single time. I even used it on turkey gravy for a Friendsgiving last weekend in Austin and nobody asked for a strainer. My wife said the texture finally matched her grandma's recipe, which is the highest compliment I can get. Has anyone else switched their thickening agent after years of sticking to what you learned first?

TIL be careful at the pun-off in Springfield, the crowd gets mean fast

I went to the weekly pun battle at the VFW hall last Friday and a guy dropped a food pun that bombed so hard someone threw a napkin at him. Five people left before the judge even scored it. Has anyone else seen a dad joke crowd turn on you that quick?

My buddy's pun about fences fell flat, but his delivery tip stuck

Last month my friend Rob told me a fence-related pun at the job site. I laughed out of habit, but the timing was all off. He said the trick is to pause twice as long before the punchline. Tried it on my wife with a new joke about gates. She actually snorted. That's a win in my book. Anyone else get better reactions just by changing the pause not the joke?

My uncle swore by the banana peel shine trick, so I tried it on my boots

He told me at Thanksgiving that rubbing the inside of a banana peel on leather makes it look new, and I laughed it off in front of him. Three weeks later I gave it a shot on a pair of scuffed work boots and they actually came up shinier than with the polish I bought for $12. Anyone else got a weird family hack that turned out to work, or did my uncle just get lucky?

My stopwatch broke mid-timer at the open mic last Friday

Was doing my weekly dad joke set at O'Malley's in Dubuque. The crowd was already tough, like 12 people total. I set my phone to time my three minute slot. Right when I hit the punchline about my wife's gardening, the alarm went off twice in a row. Totally threw me off. I froze and forgot my next joke about the lightbulb. So I just told the audience my stopwatch quit and that was the real joke. They laughed harder than anything else I said all night. Now I'm shopping for an actual analog stopwatch. Has anyone else had a gadget fail during a set and turn it into a better bit?

The pun-off at the county fair went off the rails, literally

Went to the state fair last Saturday and the dad joke stage had a mic that kept cutting out. Some guy in a straw hat nailed a train pun, crowd roared, then the speaker died mid-punchline. How do you salvage a setup like that without looking like you choked?

My dad's 3 AM waffle pun broke my brain

Last Saturday I was up late with a cold and wandered into the kitchen for tea. My dad was already there making waffles at 3 AM, which is weird on its own. He flipped one and said, “This waffle is having a waffle crisis, it can't decide if it's Belgian or French toast.” I just stared at him, no idea where that came from. He then added, “Don't worry, I'll give it a syrup-prise ending.” I coughed so hard I almost dropped my mug. I honestly think he practices these in his sleep. Has anyone else had a parent drop a pun so unexpected that you forgot what you were even doing? That one's going to live in my head rent free for a year.

The shake weight joke I swore was dumb got me 40 upvotes in a week

I posted a shake weight pun with three setup lines and expected nothing, then my brother's bowling team quote, "that's what she said, but heavier," somehow carried it, so which wins here, or is it all just luck?

Told my best pun at my kid's birthday party and got crickets, told the same one at the warehouse and they roared, which crowd is the real judge?

So last Saturday I'm at my daughter's 8th birthday party, 12 kids plus parents, and I drop my classic "I'm reading a book on anti-gravity, it's impossible to put down." One dad gives a weak smile, everyone else just stares at their cake. Then Monday at work, same joke during a safety briefing break, and three guys nearly fell off their chairs laughing. My buddy says kids only laugh at fart jokes and that's the real audience. But honestly, the groan is the whole point, right? Does a dad joke fail if nobody groans, or does it win because only a true dad appreciates it? What's your take, do you tell your jokes to kids or adults to test them?

Serious question, how do you judge a dad joke contest without a groan meter?

My brother-in-law insists his joke about a broken pencil is unbeatable, but I think the one about the ceiling fan is way better, so who decides when nobody can agree on what's truly punny?

The $35 leaf blower that lasted one fall season

Bought a cheap leaf blower last October and it gave out after three uses, now I'm raking the whole yard by hand in Texas heat. Any budget brand that actually survives more than a single autumn?

The groan that made me rethink my whole punchline setup

Last week I delivered a classic 'why did the scarecrow win an award' at the family cookout and my teenage nephew just stared and said 'that's not even a joke, it's just a fact.' Now I'm torn between sticking with the pure puns or adding a twist ending to get the laugh, which side wins in this group?

My neighbor laughed at my dad joke, then stole it for his presentation

Last Thursday at the neighborhood watch meeting, I told a pun about fences and punchlines, and the guy next door used it word for word in his slide deck on property lines. Nobody laughed when he said it, and I could tell he was steaming. Has anyone else had their material swiped, and how do you call it out without starting a feud?

Gave in to the water pun challenge after 4 weeks of eye rolls

My neighbor kept posting these elaborate water puns every Friday and I figured it was just low effort humor. Then I tried one about a broken faucet at the grill party and three people actually laughed. Has anyone else caved on a joke style they swore they hated?

Hit 100 dad jokes posted, never expected the 47th to be the one that stuck

I joined this showdown back in February just to share a pun about my lawnmower, and last night I counted 100 posts from me on the leaderboard. The surprising part is that joke #47, something about a broken flashlight, got more replies than all the other 99 combined. Has anyone else had a random throwaway line blow up while their carefully crafted ones got crickets?

The $45 joke book that split my dad group in half

I grabbed a pun compilation book at a garage sale and used it for last week's showdown. Half the guys say the groaners were genius, the other half claims I cheated by reading instead of riffing live. Does sourcing material count as strategy or is it like buying a racehorse that's already won?

My grill grate collapse changed how I run the weekly pun vote

Last Saturday I fired up the Weber for burgers and the whole grate just dropped through the middle, bent like a cheap fork. That was right before I had to post our weekly dad joke winner, and I kept second guessing myself on the scores. It hit me that I was overthinking the judging, same way I overestimated that grate's strength. Now I just tally the laughs out loud with my kids and pick the loudest groan, no spreadsheets. Anyone else had a kitchen fail that made you simplify how you do something else?

My wife's groan meter went from zero to eleven in one night

Last Friday I told her the vacuum cleaner joke about it being a dust-buster and she actually laughed, then immediately sighed when I followed it up with the one about the broken pencil. Has anyone else noticed their partner's reaction time to puns gets faster the longer you've been together?

Overheard my kid's teacher tell a pun about fractions that flopped

I have a neighbor who puts a new dad joke on his whiteboard every morning, facing the sidewalk. Last week he wrote "I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high, she looked surprised." I chuckled on my way to work, but then this older guy walking his dog stopped, read it, and just shook his head without a word. That got me wondering if there's a shelf life for these things, like a pun that kills in 1998 lands with a thud in 2025. My own kid laughs at the dumbest ones, so maybe the audience matters more than the joke itself. What's the oldest dad joke you still tell that gets zero reaction from people under 30?

My toaster died mid-pun and my kids walked in on me talking to it

Stat about puns winning arguments surprised me

I read a study from Cornell that said puns actually make people more persuasive, not less. Found it in a 2019 issue of the Journal of Experimental Psychology. Everyone here seems to think groaners are the joke equivalent of a flat tire, but 71% of participants rated the pun-teller as more likable. Has anyone else run across data that flips the whole 'dad joke cringe' thing on its head?

My 'kid-tested, dad-approved' joke flopped hard until I said it in a whisper

My wife told me my delivery was too shouty, so at the cookout on Sunday I tried the same pun about a broken pencil at a low volume and my nephew actually snorted. Anyone else find that whispering makes a bad dad joke 10 times funnier, or is my family just weird?

My barber told me one joke and it made me rethink my whole delivery

So I was getting a trim on Saturday at Lou's Barbershop downtown and he hit me with this classic: 'Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.' I laughed but then he said the secret is the pause before the punchline, not just the words. He waited like 2 full seconds and looked me dead in the eye, which made the hit way harder. I went home and tried it on my wife with the same joke, and she actually snorted for the first time in ages. Now I'm wondering if the timing matters more than the joke itself. Has anyone else found that a long pause or a straight face changes how a joke lands, or is it just me?

Rant: I was a total skeptic about pun competition brackets... now I'm hooked

I joined this group like 6 months ago just to lurk and laugh at the jokes. My buddy Dave kept telling me I should enter the weekly showdown, but I thought the whole bracket system was kinda goofy, like a weird sports league for wordplay. Then last month I threw in a joke about my tree trimming business, something about 'branching out'... and it actually made it to the final four. That little dopamine hit from seeing people vote for my dumb pun convinced me, now I check the standings every Tuesday morning before I even start my truck.

Unpopular opinion: dad jokes are better when you butcher the punchline on purpose

So I was at my kid's soccer game last Saturday and this other dad told a joke about a horse walking into a bar. He messed up the ending and said "why the long face" at the wrong time. Everyone groaned but honestly it was way funnier than if he got it right. My wife thinks I'm crazy but I've been botching punchlines all week on purpose. What do you guys think? Is the mistake part of the joke or am I just bad at telling jokes?