Wait, 90 mph weaving? Where do these people even come from?

Used to think brand name stuff was a total SCAM but now I get that cheap electronics are a legit fire hazard. Glad you're okay man that could have been way worse.

@dakota_patel98 you're right about fruit going mushy but actually calcium chloride is for keeping things crisp in pickles, not ferments, and grape leaves work cause they have tannins. A better trick for keeping mango texture is to add it later in the ferment, like just the last 2-3 days.

Come on now, give the guy a break. In my experience, stuff like this happens more often than people want to admit. Your brain gets into a groove, you're running late, and suddenly your phone feels like any random object in your hand. I've definitely stood there for a solid thirty seconds trying to figure out why my wallet wouldn't unlock my front door before realizing I was holding the wrong thing. Your mileage may vary, but shoving it in the bag and bailing sounds like a perfectly normal panic move. People acting like they've never done something brain-dead under pressure are probably lying or just never leave the house.

My buddy Mark had the same thing happen at a bar in Seattle, handed the guy a copy of The Lies of Locke Lamora and he finally shut up about it after reading the first chapter. @rubys80's idea with The Hobbit is solid, sometimes you just need to give them the right starter book.