Just hit 100 times making my grandma's apple pie and it hit me hard

I was writing the date on my recipe card, like I always do, and I counted the little marks. I've made her apple pie exactly 100 times since she passed away 8 years ago. It's the one with the secret splash of orange juice in the filling and the lattice crust she taught me to weave. Every time I smell the cinnamon and brown sugar, I'm back in her kitchen in Toledo, standing on a stool. I never really thought about how many times I'd made it until I saw that number. It's like a part of her is still here every month when I bake it. Has anyone else kept track like that and been surprised by the count?

3 comments

3 Comments

mary_martin221mo ago

I keep a tally on my takeout menu for how many times I've burnt grilled cheese. The count is getting a bit sad, but at least it's a tribute to my complete lack of her cooking skills. Your grandma's pie sounds a lot nicer to remember someone by.

hannahm391mo ago

your complete lack of her cooking skills" - okay but think about it this way. maybe the burnt grilled cheese tally is actually a win because you're keeping a memory of her alive through failure, not success. my mom always burnt toast and now every time i accidentally char bread it makes me smile instead of getting mad. i bet your grandma's pie is remembered because nobody else could make it taste exactly like hers, not because it was perfect every time. sometimes the messy, imperfect stuff is what sticks with us the most, you know?

stellaa691mo ago

@mary_martin22 I get the burnt grilled cheese thing haha. I kept a tally on the fridge for how many times I tried to recreate my dad's chili recipe and it was like 40 fails before i got close. What worked for me was writing down what went wrong each time on a sticky note and sticking it to the recipe card. Turns out i was using the wrong kind of beans and not letting it simmer long enough. Maybe try that with your grilled cheese - write down the pan temp or the bread type each time. Eventually you'll get that one perfect batch and it'll feel like a win. Your grandma would probably laugh at the tally anyway, mine would have.