Was I wrong about approaching people in public this whole time?

I used to think striking up random conversations with strangers was awkward and pushy. Like if someone had headphones in or was reading a book, I'd just walk past and assume they didn't want to be bothered. Then I ran into this older guy at a bus stop last Tuesday who started talking to me about my backpack. He said he noticed the patch on it from a band he loved in the 80s. We ended up talking for 40 minutes and he gave me a recommendation for a record store I never would have found otherwise. That got me thinking: maybe I've been too closed off and missing out on good stuff by assuming everyone hates being approached. But on the flip side, I've also been that person who just wants to zone out with a podcast and not be bothered. So I'm curious how you all draw that line between being open to chance meetings and respecting someone's space. Has anyone else had a moment where you realized your default approach was wrong?

3 comments

3 Comments

scott.miles5d ago

Hold on, so a dude talking about a 40 minute conversation about a band patch is "overthinking it" but calling that whole interaction "just a normal thing that happened" isn't the overthink? I think maybe the real overthink here is deciding that one nice bus stop chat automatically means we should all be out here interrupting strangers like it's our job. That's like saying one good blind date means you should just start walking up to anyone anywhere and asking them out. The trick is probably just... noticing if someone looks open to it and if not, leaving them alone. It's not that deep, but it's also not nothing.

christopherwilson8d ago

Quit overthinking it. You talked to a guy about a band patch for 40 minutes, it's not some life changing revelation about human connection.

mila_brown108d agoProlific Poster

i get where you're coming from @christopherwilson, but i see it differently. talking about a band patch for 40 minutes isn't just small talk - it's two people finding a real, weird connection over something specific. like, that's the kind of moment where you both realize you're into the same obscure thing, and it sparks something deeper than just "nice weather we're having." those little moments stack up, you know? they're not life-changing on their own, but they're the building blocks of feeling less alone in the world.