Had a buddy run into his old high school principal at a bar bathroom once. The guy walked in, saw him at the urinal, and goes "Hey, you're the kid who set off the fire alarm with a microwave popcorn bag." We still roast him about it ten years later.

Try driving a truck through one in the rain - different beast entirely.

Cross-checking passenger names against hotel and car rental bookings" - wow, next they'll be checking if you liked any Instagram posts from the layover city. I guess the good old "missing the connection on purpose" trick has finally gone the way of free checked bags and actual legroom. Maybe it's time to just accept that paying for the flight you actually want is the path of least resistance.