Appreciation post: My brother said my ad copy sounded like a robot

I was showing him a draft for a new client, a local bike shop in Portland. He read it and just said, 'This doesn't sound like a person, it sounds like a computer wrote it.' I mean, I was just using all the standard phrases we always use. It made me go back and rewrite the whole thing in a way I'd actually talk to a friend. Has anyone else had a non-ad person give you that kind of blunt, useful feedback?

2 comments

2 Comments

fiona_murphy3d ago

What specific phrases did you cut out that made it sound robotic? Like were you using stuff like "revolutionize your cycling experience" or "unparalleled quality" that nobody actually says?

karen_roberts43d ago

Wait, "unparalleled quality" is a real phrase people still use? I thought everyone knew that sounds like a textbook from 1998.