Bride's aunt yelling is the real crime here.

That reminds me of something my old mentor used to say about boards failing at the worst possible time. He always kept a spare piece of Baltic birch cut to size just for emergencies, said it saved him more than once. Glad the clamps did the trick for you, but you might want to look into maple plywood pressing boards. They hold up way better than solid wood because the layers keep any one piece from splitting straight through.

12 years is actually pretty solid for an inflatable pad, most folks get half that. But I gotta point out, you said you patched the seam twice, Therm-a-Rest seams are usually welded, not glued, so a regular patch kit wont hold. You need their specific seam sealer or a patch that covers the whole stress point. I had the same thing happen on a NeoAir around year 8, tried duct tape and everything, ended up just buying a new one. Maybe yours is fixable with the right stuff, but 12 years of summer trips is a good run regardless.