That "one lucky try" part is what worries me, since a phone level is only as flat as whatever surface the phone's sitting on and cabinet runs are exactly where a tiny lean stacks up over 10 feet. Did you shim the phone itself or just trust it against the box?

Wait, you actually laughed at a 15 mile shortcut? That is wild to me because 15 miles is not a shortcut, that is a whole extra day of hiking if things go wrong. I gotta know what made it a "shortcut" in the first place, like was the main trail that much longer or were you just in a bind? I have done dumb stuff on trails before but blowing off 15 miles because it sounds easier would scare me half to death. Did you have enough water and food for it or did you just wing it and hope for the best? Tell me the part where it saved your trip because right now I am stuck on the part where you laughed at it first.

A whole life lesson from burnt toast seems a bit much. You stood there for twenty seconds watching it smoke, that is barely a decision, that is just being tired before coffee. If salvaging a slice of bread is a moral struggle, the day ahead is going to be rough. Toss it, make another piece, and move on. Honestly, the only real failure here is making breakfast sound like a crisis when it is a two minute chore. Save the deep thinking for something that actually matters, like why the smoke alarm is so loud in the first place.